I forgot to mention that I got my high school transcript in the mail the other day. Everyone gives me a lot more academic credit than I deserve. So many people think that I'm either smart or scholarly, when the truth is that I'm just average. Out of 18 courses I took at the senior level (grade 11 and 12) I had 2 A's, a smattering of B's, and a whole whack of C+'s, with 2 or 3 C's to balance it all out. Not to mention that I had a withdrawl failure in Math 11. The two A's weren't even that big of a deal, the first was in Directing&Scriptwriting (which is a slacker class for anyone who is borderline literate) and the other A was in Visual/Media Arts (ability to use Photoshop+love of bright colours=high mark). Besides, both of those teachers were tight-asses (one used to be an artillery man in the militia) who liked to believe that they were wild and crazy libertines. By encouraging eclectic (and sometimes downright strange) creative works, they believed that they were showing how "cool" and "cutting edge" they were. My other teachers, who were tight-assed and proud of it, didn't seem to understand my unusual attendance patterns or homework standards. I'm sorry, but obviously they've never been babysitting when they suddenly realized that there was no pen in their backpack, and the only way to complete the assignment is to scrawl the answers in purple crayon (washable because the kids tend to write on the wall). Those were the C and C+ classes (Biology, Accounting, CAPP 12 [fabled for the dreaded portfolio], etc.). Then there were the B-list classes, with teachers who thought there was potential hiding somewhere in me. They tried their hardest to turn Erin B. into an A+ student, but their efforts fell short. Some silently shook their heads in disbelief when I would hand in a brilliant paper, and then go AWOL for days, surfacing sporadically only to pick up assignments or books. Others verbalized their displeasure with my so-called "waste" of potential, and tried to coerce me into "buckling down" or "trying harder." These were courses where a little effort would have had a big reward. Somehow, for reasons I can no longer remember, I couldn't be bothered. Maybe it was an impulse to enjoy the sun peeking between the clouds in the winter, after it had seemed like darkness would fill my life and oppress me. Perhaps it was the little pleasures like comfy pillows calling me back to bed early in the morning. Whatever it was, it was worth more to me than a tiny push to do better in school. My grades weren't that bad, but it seems like I was expected to do better.

However, I'm out of high school now, and can do whatever I want with my life. If I don't want to, I never have to go back to school again. I'm going to, though, and perhaps this time around I'll put a little more effort in.